It’s recess and we’re outside, we’re lining up behind the line. Don’t cheat, don’t step the line, wait till it’s time to go. There we are, all waiting for someone to yell go. So we can start running towards the finish line. before I knew it, they yelled go. and i ran, oh did I run. Every day, same story, I ran but never made it. Instead i fell. Every time. The blood on my knees was the proof of my trying. The scars that remained that would remind me, till today. I might be slow, and I might fall, but i’ll make it. I have the spirit, and I’ll keep trying. The turtle made in to the end, so can I. But i’ll embrace the beauty when i reach the finish line. 

Nobody said it would be easy to get over someone, but they never said how hard it really is. How hard it’s to try not to let your mind wonder. How hard it is to try to convince yourself you don’t love that person anymore. How hard it is to see that the future you plan with them has disappeared. forever. Time heals everything. It really doesn’t. It really, sincerely, doesn’t. I’ve been waiting for time to heal and take this pain away. But it hasn’t, and it just lingers. 

You don’t ever give up on someone you love. 

So why did you give up on me?

Our love died, thanks to me. 

Our dreams, are now my dreams. 

Your dreams, are now her dreams as well. 

Depression and the loneliness is creeping up again. But this time I’m not going to fight it. I’m going to embrace it. Be one with it. Become it. That way it can’t control me anymore. I’m going to control it. Me. Not depression. And not loneliness. Not again. Not anymore.

The way he touches me is different.
The way he looks at me is different.
The way he tells me he loves me is different.
Then I realize it was all different because it wasn’t you.
Everything without you is
Different.

I’ll always love you. There’s nothing and no one in this world that would change that. Ever. But I understand you have to get out in the world before we can be together. And I’m okay with that. It hurts, but I understand. Whatever makes you happy. Cause I want you happy. But please don’t forget me. And don’t forget our love.